This is the narrative of a game played for Halloween at Wycombe Warband as an introduction to 7TV2 for multiple players. The game was played with the 7TV2 rules from Crooked Dice using the Scooby-Doo Programme Guide for Mystery Inc and open casting rules for the villains.
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| Tonight's TV listings |
Prologue
It’s Halloween and mysterious
things are happening as usual at Crystal Cove. Sheriff Stone has been plagued
by calls about ghosts and evil spirits, and has asked Mystery Inc to help so as
to get rid of some of his less likely cases and reduce his workload. He’s more
concerned about the farmer’s daughter, who has been reported missing, and he
intends to get down to Abner’s pumpkin farm to search for her as soon as he
can.
Mystery Inc are interested
in Abner’s farm as well. Fred knew Abner’s daughter from junior school, and he
recalls her telling the tale that the farm is haunted by a giant pumpkin
monster at this time of year. It’s probably just a publicity stunt so that they
can sell more Halloween pumpkins, but it’s fair to say that stranger things
have happened in Crystal Cove.
The Casts
MYSTERY INC & FRIENDS
Fred (Co-Star, 5)
Daphne (Co-Star, 4)
Velma (Co-Star, 4)
Shaggy (Co-Star, 4)
Scooby (Co-Star, 4)
Mystery Machine (Vehicle, 4)
Sheriff Stone (Extra, 3)
4 x Deputies (Extra, 2)
Police Patrol Car (Vehicle, 3)
Cameraman (Extra, 1)
TOTAL 39 points
THE SCARECROWS
The Scarecrow Witch (Co-star, 6)
Jack O'Lantern (Co-Star, 4)
The Reaper (Co-Star, 5)
The PumpKing (Co-Star, 7)
8 x Pumpkin-Headed Scarecrows (Extra, 1)
5 x Corn Dolls (Extra, 1)
Farm Truck (Vehicle, counts as Land Rover, 4)
TOTAL 43 points (but the truck is part of the scenario and I would let it be driven by either cast)
And… Action!
Cue music… Scooby-dooby-doo,
where are you…
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| All is quiet on Abner's pumpkin farm |
It is night time and apart from the sound of occasional
vehicles moving along Highway 432 and the creaking of the windmill in the light
of the full moon, all seems quiet on Abner’s farm.
 |
| "Are you sure we can park the cars like this, Sheriff?" |
The police, accompanied by Mystery Inc, arrive at the
entrance to the farm.
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| "Daphne, these aren't yours are they?" |
Leaving the Mystery Machine parked at the edge of the
highway, keeping close together, they all cautiously advance along the farm
track.
“Whatever you do, don’t split up”, Fred advises. “You know
what happens to us every time we do that”.
The police are wary of something ahead of them in the
fields, but it turns out just to be an old scarecrow. Nothing to be worried
about, surely.
Fred’s eyes are drawn to something on the ground at the
side of the track – a clue! As he bends down to pick it up with a stick, the
gang gather round to look. Fred appears slightly embarrassed.
“Er… It appears to be a pair of ladies’ underpants,” he
stammers. “I wonder how they got here?”
Velma cleans her glasses to get a closer look, and takes
the stick from Fred, who is very happy to hand it over.
“Size 8, 60% cotton, off-white with well-worn elastic. Pumpkin-stained,
with traces of straw caught in the fabric, some from quite long ago. They’ve
been on and off a lot and from the smell I’d say they haven’t been here more
than 14 hours.”
“Definitely the Farmer’s daughter”, Fred nodded. “I
remember her from Junior School”.
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| The cameraman begins to wonder if he is in the right place |
As the cameraman films a long-distance shot of the gang,
the villains make their entrance.
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| There's something coming through the corn... |
What’s that coming through the fields? Is it a monster?
Er, no – it’s two monsters.
 |
| Grrrr! |
The Scarecrow Witch advances slowly through the corn.
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| "Whoops! This mud is really slippery!" |
Yes, there is definitely something moving in the corn, and
it’s not a scarecrow, or at least not a normal one. The police are having some
difficulty though. One of the officers has trodden in something unpleasant,
slipped and fallen to the ground, while the others are trying very hard to make
out what it is approaching them.
“Freeze, or we’ll shoot”, shouts Sheriff Stone. There is
no response, and so the police open fire, while the gang hang back, all but
Fred still examining the clue.
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| All ready for a quick getaway... almost. |
At about the same time, as Act 2 starts, the farm truck is
finally fully- loaded with pumpkins.
“Well done, men”, the villain currently known as Jack
O’Lantern says, rubbing his hands together. “No-one will guess the goods are
stuffed inside those pumpkins. Surely nothing can stop us now!”
There is the sound of timely gunfire from outside.
“You”, Jack snarls, pointing at one of the pumpkin-headed
scarecrows in the barn, “Get that truck on the move. The rest of you come with
me – we’re going to find out what’s going on outside.” And as they leave the
building, they see the police car appear around the corner of the farm track,
and realise they must act fast.
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| "I tell you it's an old woman! Who else would wear a hat like that?" |
Meanwhile, back in the cornfield, the Scarecrow Witch unexpectedly puts his handy disguise kit to use.
“Hold your fire, men”, Sheriff Stone calls, suddenly
becoming aware that their target is actually an innocent old lady out for a
stroll under the full moon on Halloween, and nothing at all suspicious. “It
appears to be an innocent old lady out for a stroll under the full moon on
Halloween, and nothing at all suspicious”. His men lower their weapons, but don’t look particularly
convinced.
Seeing a different sinister figure moving through the corn on the other side of the track, Sheriff Stone orders his men to shoot at this
new target instead, and The Reaper is mercilessly gunned down before he can
even wave his scythe in their direction. Then, as the attention moves back, the
Scarecrow Witch has a sudden attack of stage fright and finds himself
temporarily unable to act, much to the director's annoyance.
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| "Sheriff, we appear to be on fire." |
Undeterred, and ignoring the hammy acting of the Scarecrow
Witch, Fred moves towards another clue he has spotted in the middle of the
cornfield.
But before the police can open fire again, there is a minor
technical mishap with the special effects as a pyrotechnics canister malfunctions.
Sheriff Stone and his men find themselves unexpectedly on fire.
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| "Ouch! Fire! Hurts!" |
The cameraman is perfectly positioned for a great shot of
the burning policemen, though it only lasts a short while before one of them
has to seek medical assistance off-camera.
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| Vegetables on the attack |
The villains, realising that time is running out, and that
they are likely to be a lot more effective attacking in numbers, go on the
attack. Not before time, flanked by more pumpkin-headed scarecrows, the
PumpKing makes its appearance.
“Raaarrrgh!” it growls, as only giant vegetable monsters
can.
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| Thinks... Whatever you do, don't split up... |
Sheriff Stone and two of his remaining deputies, having
put out their burning clothes, face the threat of the giant vegetable.
Fred, meanwhile, investigates the second clue, relieved to
find it is not another item of ladies’ underwear.
“Hmmm,” he ponders. “A gas station receipt for diesel
fuel. Enough to fill the tank of a large farm truck for a long journey with a full
load of pumpkins. I wonder what that can mean?”
And while Daphne, with an uncanny sense of what needs to be done, runs back to the Mystery Machine, Velma,
Shaggy and Scooby ponder why Fred might have been so concerned earlier about
the party not splitting up.
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| Scarecrows in attack formation |
It doesn’t take too much pondering. Five corn doll
scarecrows appear in the field on the other side of the track to the PumpKing.
“Oh-oh”, says Velma
“Roh-oh”, says Scooby
“Zoinks”, says Shaggy
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| [In vegetable voice] "We have them now!" |
The PumpKing looks threatening as it momentarily poses for
the shot before the action.
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| "Who do you think you are, Starsky & Hutch?" |
The deputy driving the patrol car grasps the urgency of
the moment, and in a Dukes of Hazzard-like manoeuvre, screeches the vehicle to
a halt immediately in front of the farm truck.
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| ***BANG!!!*** |
Unfortunately the farm truck is bigger and tougher
than the police car. Its pumpkin-headed driver stamps on the gas. For a moment,
the wheels of the truck spin wildly, and then the truck rockets through the
police car, which is written off and knocked aside, its driver thrown clear as
the damaged truck barges past.
In moments, the unfortunate driver is surrounded by Jack O’Lantern
and his henchman.
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| "Yikes! I'm sure I had some nerve gas somewhere..." |
Meanwhile, the corn dolls close in on Velma, Shaggy and Scooby from one side as pumpkin-heads
attack from the other, and a chaotic punch-up ensues. In the confusion Shaggy
searches his pockets desperately for something useful.
“Hey, Scoobs, what’s this?” he says, pulling a cylindrical
object from his pocket in a scatter of Scooby snacks. “Your old flea powder.
Hold your breath!” The flea powder canister explodes in a cloud of
foul-smelling noxious gas. The scarecrows falter as the vapour weakens their
resolve.
But Shaggy is now in big trouble, attacked on all sides by spooky scarecrows with blunt agricultural implements.
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| "Take aim carefully, now..." |
Sheriff Stone orders his men to help.
“It’s a risky shot, men, so be very careful” he announces,
and they all open fire in an explosion of lead. Missing the scarecrows completely, their first shot
hits Shaggy in the backside.
“Oops”, says the deputy
“ZOINKS! That hurt!” cries Shaggy.
“I told you to be careful!”, said Sheriff Stone. “Let me show you how it’s done.” And so Sheriff Stone takes the risky shot instead, and Shaggy is hit in the backside a second time.
“Oops” says Sheriff Stone.
“ZZOOIINNKKSS!” says Shaggy, and falls to the ground.
“Rrraaagggy!” howls Scooby.
And the bad guys all sieze the moment and pounce in, and a
massive punch-up develops again. Things are not looking good for Scooby-Doo, who
disappears beneath a flurry of pounding farm implements, and like Shaggy is taken out of
the game. Velma is lucky to get away without even losing her glasses.
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| Hissss..... Boing! Hisss.... |
The PumpKing, which is evidently not really a pumpkin at
all but in fact some sort of large inflatable construction filled with pressurised gas
and operated by several villains inside, has evidently sprung a leak, perhaps
caused by a stray bullet that actually hit the correct target. The sudden release of
gas allows the giant vegetable monster to leap into the fray, and it bounds into the surprised policeman with enthusiasm.
Enthusiasm, that is, rather than effectiveness. The police
stand their ground as another big punch-up develops.
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| Woman driver |
Meanwhile, somehow overlooked by the director and the TV cameraman, Daphne has managed to
drive the Mystery Machine into the farm where she stops the escape of the farm
truck by carefully crashing into it. She jumps out, but is not quick enough to grab the
clue, so promptly jumps back into the dented van and drives off to comparative safety.
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| "Wha... How did that happen?" |
As the dust settles on the massive punch-up on the farm
track, the scarecrows look around for signs of Scooby-Doo, who was definitely
taken out of the game but has somehow managed to get back in to it. It seems that in
the confusion of the fight, in typical cartoon-fashion, Scooby-Doo must have crawled
out of the bottom of the melee to make an unlikely escape into the field nearby,
where he runs away to safety.
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| "Put your tendrils in the air!" |
The police back away from the ineffective attacks of the
PumpKing as the episode draws to a close.
“Freeze!” shouts one of the deputies, brandishing his gun at
the rapidly-deflating giant vegetable, and, realising the game is up, a group of villains slowly make
their way out, their hands in the air.
“Abner!” cries Sheriff Stone. “I never would have thought
it was you!”
“Yes, Sheriff”, admits Abner the Pumpkin Farmer. “And I nearly
got away with it despite those pesky kids!”
Epilogue
Later, in hospital, the gang visit Shaggy, who is
recovering from his unfortunate bullet wounds. Shaggy is trying to understand Velma’s
explanation of what happened.
“So what you’re saying is Abner dresses his men up as
spooky scarecrows to scare people at Halloween because people will pay more for
a pumpkin grown on a genuinely haunted pumpkin farm than they will for just any
old pumpkin? And because of that he’s been arrested on minor charges of fraud
and conspiracy to scare small children? And it turns out his daughter wasn’t
missing at all but had simply shacked up for a few days with one of the farm
hands she fancied who didn’t work over Halloween because he refused to wear a
pumpkin on his head?”
“Yes” says Velma
“Yes” says Fred
“Res” says Scooby
“Er… are you sure we didn’t miss anything?” says Daphne.
And they all laugh. Daphne always found solving mysteries
challenging and rarely understood the obvious explanations. Everyone knew she
was only in Mystery Inc because of her good looks and impeccable fashion sense.
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| “Rooby-Doo!” |
THE END
Closing music
End Credits
7TV2 cards for the villains created by the author and
produced using Jorge Robles' excellent 7TV2 Studios Casting Agency
Mystery Inc from Hasslefree Miniatures
Pumpkin-headed scarecrows from Rapier Miniatures
Corn Dolls from Crooked Dice
Scarecrow Co-Stars from Conquest Games
PumpKing scratch-built from DAS clay, Milliput and Green
Stuff by the author.
Clear bases from Sally 4th
Scarecrows standing in fields from Bad Squiddo Games
Pumpkins scattered in fields are painted putkha pods (used in flower decorations), purchased from Hobbycraft
All terrain scratch-built by the author.
Thanks to all my players for their excellent senses of humour and original ideas and contributions to the screnplay. Which was, by the way, a minor victory to Mystery Inc.
No pumpkins were harmed in this production.
