7TV Day II at Board in Brum

Extracts from the diary of an insidiious industrialist (aged 55 1/2)

The team pose for press photos

Dear Diary

I can only apologise for the lateness of these notes. They should have been written down in January but I have not quite been myself for a while. Work demands, doomsday devices, kickstarters, you know how it is. Sorry.

But enough excuses.

Mwahaha‼ At last my dastardly plans are approaching fruition, and the time to have my revenge on Mr Bond approaches. The scientists have finished their work and my secret weapon - the Apetopus - is almost ready.

So with that in mind, I brought the Apetopus, with myself and a handful of disposable blue-jump-suited minions, to a largely industrial area just north of Birmingham for field testing.

Test #1: vs the Stealthy Mr Mulholland

The Test: Obviously, the best way to test the apetopus for combat readiness was to send it out against an established force of known villains with an appropriately savage reputation. Shredder and his ninjas seemed the perfect choice. (Also, one of Mr Shredder's minions had previously worked for us, and had been threatening to take me to employment tribunal for wrongful dismissal, so there was a score to settle).

A typical post-apocalyptic inner city road junction

The two forces met at a typical post-apocalyptic inner city road junction and were swift to engage in combat.

The main attack team advance

Minions and ninjas faced each other and in a flurry of shurikens and submachine gun bullets bodies were rapidly falling on both sides

Ninja attack!

 Our unfortunate previous employee sadly fell in the combat, in what would probably be best described to the lawyers as an "industrial accident". Shame.

As minions fall, the Apetopus meets Shredder

Shredder and the Apetopus met in hand-to-had (blade-to-tentacle) combat while Baxter and I exchanged respectful and distant attacks and products were placed appropriately (Energizer Batteries demonstrating their considerably greater relevance to the action than Alka-seltzer).

Conclusion: The Apetopus looks great and does its best in a fight but can be pretty swiftly made into calamari when faced with an opponent with master sushi chef skills.

Test #2: vs the Devious Mr Wilkins

The Test: Some concerns had previously been raised over the utility (or not) of the Apetopus in seek and revover missions. Very kindly one of my fellow members of the International Consortium of Brutal Megalomaniacs along with his trusty spy and sniper henchmen and an assortment of yellow-jump-suited minions agreed to convoy a doomsday device across a more rural post-apocalyptic road junction so that we could attempt to steal it from them.

"Advance to the enemy!"

The Apetopus was duly patched back together and a new selection of minions were "volunteered" for the team and we set off again. And that is pretty much where the plan fell apart. 

The Apetopus leads the advance...

...as the minions are systematically slaughtered and it comes under heavy attack itself

The minions, though keen, were rapidly picked off and the Apetopus had only just taken in the scene before it was subjected to a hail of gunfire and set on fire before it could eat its Frosties.

Oops... I seem to be on the wrong side of the table...

And finally, due to my rival's masterly use of gadgets, I ended up in a compromising position on the far side of the table where I could only survive attacks in the way that Bond villains can between different films.  It's a good job we weren't keeping score.

Conclusion: Back to the drawing board. We're going to have to rethink this one completely.

Test #3: vs the Speedy Mr Canty

The Test: A mock James Bond and support team were set up to face the hurriedly taped-together, slightly singed Apetopus and a fresh support unit of "willing" "volunteers". If we could defeat "James Bond" here (notwithstanding loss of minions, and as long as we don't have to seek or recover anything) we would be ready to become fully operational.

The test, around a number of desert buildings which might have been post-apocalyptic, was rather compromised by the smell from the toilets off-set, which was genuinely apocalyptic. The objective became simply to exit stage left before we were overcome by what was entering stage right.

"Run, as fast as you can!"

 Both sides ignored each other and made a run for it as fast as possible to escape the encroaching cloud of insidious vapour. 

Panicking minions come under heavy fire as the exit door fails to open

My minions made it to the exit door first but were singularly ineffective at opening the door. In their panic to escape, they were gunned down by the enemy.

Enemy minions burn as the Apetopus watches malevolently

 Helped by gadgets and fortuitous countdown cards, the Apetopus laughs in the face of the enemy.

The Apetopus delivers the killing blow

 The Apetopus attacks the last of the enemy minions.

Last man standing

It was particularly pleasing to use my capture bubble on "James Bond" and see him duly succumb to toxic toilet emissions. Nice to finish on a positive note.

Conclusion: The Apetopus needs to be patched up again *(again), and we'll need a few more "volunteers" but it's been a very good day and we're operational at last. Mwahaha‼

Credits:

Thanks go to all the team at Board in Brum for hosting a great day's gaming, and quite enlightening to play in games where it's all about the narrative and having fun - and nobody keeps score because it doesn't matter. 7TV is that sort of game, and is brilliant for it. Lots of fun. If you want to find out more, other players have written much more sensible accounts of Board in Brum's 7TV Day II. Here are a few: https://brummieswargamingblog.blogspot.com/2019/02/7tv-day-ii-board-in-brum.html

https://twistedpinnaclegames.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/7tv-day-ii-at-board-in-brum/ https://cheaphammer.blogspot.com/2019/01/board-for-brum-part-3.html Enjoy!