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| Tonight the long-awaited new Dr Who series begins... |
Eee-ooo, eee-ooo…
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| oo-ee-oo oo-ee-oo ooooo... oo-e-oo... |
Cue eery, familiar
synthesised BBC special effects music. On a black background, futuristic-ish
red and orange lines form shifting Rorschach test images as the genial, smiling
face of Jon Pertwee forms in the centre, and then fades away to reveal the intriguing,
yet familiar-styled title of this new series:
THE APETOPUS
EXPERIMENT
Episode 1
The music fades, to
reveal the Doctor, struggling over an apparently unpredictable TARDIS control
centre, as Jo Grant, in an improbably-fashionable red tartan/white leather
boots combination, enthusiastically panics. They both lean to the left as the
camera jolts abruptly in the opposite direction and the set wobbles
unconvincingly in the background.
"What's
happening, Doctor!" she panics.
"Don't worry,
Jo, I'm sure it's nothing serious" the Doctor reassures, "Something
is trying to direct the TARDIS, and I'm doing my best to put us back on course,
that's all."
Jo does not find
this reassuring.
"You have to do
something about it, Doctor!" Jo cries, as the cameraman lurches to the
left and she is thrown unconvincingly to the right, despite her high heels,
somehow still remaining standing.
"I'm doing my
best, Jo," the Doctor calmly replies, "Now, that should do the
trick!"
Without explanation,
the cameraman rights himself, the set stops wobbling, and the scene becomes
unexpectedly calm.
"Well done,
Doctor," Jo says, relieved. "I knew you could do it!"
"I
shouldn't get too excited," the Doctor replies. "I just stopped
trying to override the controls. Now I wonder where we will materialise..."
It is a grey day
somewhere in rural Britain. With its in the background sound effect, the TARDIS
fades into existence on a tarmacked surface beside some white, single-storey
buildings. The door opens a crack and the Doctor and Jo peer out. The wind is
picking up, and above them, grey clouds are swirling abnormally...
Inside a Laboratory,
the camera zooms in behind two scientists, who stand in front of a gigantic
container, its transparent walls revealing it to be a sort of aquarium,
half-filled with liquid. In the centre, a large tree trunk emerges from the
water, its branches devoid of leaves. A bizarre pulsating mass, tentacled and
hairy, clings precariously below one of the lower branches, dripping and
writhing strangely, occasionally picking at fleas. The scientists observe this
weird creature, a huge half-monkey-half-octopus, as it bares its teeth and
drools at them, the angry stare from its glazed eyes betraying its psychotic
self-loathing.
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| The Apetopus, safely caged |
"I don't think
it's very happy," the short, bald man in the stained lab coat says between
bites, as he fussily adjusts his wire-rimmed glasses.
"Neither am I,
professor," the taller man with ruffled hair and the kipper tie asserts.
"I do so wish the canteen wouldn't experiment so much with sandwich
fillings. I thought this was cheese and tomato but it tastes more like squid
and marmalade."
The professor had
been so preoccupied observing the Apetopus that he hadn't thought about what he
was eating. He reviews the evidence, grimaces, swallows the mouthful of fishy
citrus as quickly as possible, and tries not to think about what might have happened
to the surplus cephalopods they hadn't used in the Apetopus experiment and
which had mysteriously vanished this morning. As if it can read his thoughts,
the Apetopus raises two of its tentacles, gives what may be a rude gesture, and
starts beating its chest.
"No really,
Professor, it is quite cross," he reiterates. "You don't suppose it
suspects we're eating its relations, do you?"
"On the
contrary, Doctor," his companion
asserts. "Doubtless both the ape and the octopus preferred their
appearance before the experiment, and that is surely sufficient cause for
ire."
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| The scientists confer |
"Although it
should consider itself lucky. It could have ended up with the head of an
octopus on the body of a monkey, after all. Alas, but such is the price of
science! I'm pleased it is securely contained, though. The extra-toughened
titani-glass of the aquarium walls will see to that."
"I
concur," his companion agreed. "Those aquarium walls are strong
enough to withstand anything!"
As if on cue, there
is a loud rumble from somewhere outside. The room shakes alarmingly, plaster
falls from the ceiling, and a crack begins to form in the extra-toughened aquarium titani-glass. The
scientists stare, shocked, as loud alarms sound, the crack in the glass slowly
expands, and the Apetopus writhes, smirking malevolently.
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| An alien flying saucer appears overhead, lights flashing. As they do. |
Just outside the
laboratory facility, between its electric fence and the woodland beyond, groups
of laboratory staff stand around the buildings and watch as a hole has appears
in the swirling clouds through which a silver flying saucer, which can clearly
be seen to be made from two paper bowls, slowly descends. Lights flashing, it
lands in a cloud of vaporising dry ice.
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| The alien ship lands |
As the weird tones
of BBC sound effects build, strange green tentacled alien beings, their
spherical bodies dominated by a single huge eye, appear through the mist, and
descend a ramp to the ground. Some of
the onlookers panic. Others remain fixed, in shock, unable to move away.
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| Aliens gather beside the security fence |
As the Doctor and Jo assess the situation, a Land Rover speeds to a halt opposite the TARDIS and uniformed men run out, directed by their NCO to head towards the fence at the edge of the compound, where a film cameraman is getting some good close-ups of the action. A moustached senior officer walks swiftly towards them, reaching out his hand with a surprised smile.
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| The Doctor and Jo recognise a familiar face |
"Doctor, and Miss Grant," Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart acknowledges. "Very good to see you. I have no idea how you manage to always turn up at the right time, but I'm very pleased you do."
"Always good to see you, too, Brigadier," the Doctor replies. "Whatever the circumstances. So tell me, where are we, and what's going on?"
"Alien invasion, Doctor," the Brigadier clarifies, in a matter-of-fact way that might normally be considered inappropriate in such circumstances. "UNIT got the call less than an hour ago and as luck would have it we were in the area so we're first on the scene. Silver flying saucer, landed just the other side of the main building."
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| UNIT troops run into position |
Behind the building,
the aliens are briefly delayed by the perimeter fence. Several attempt to cross
meet with electrical discharges that fling them back, stunned, to the ground
where they struggle to right themselves.
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| Some of the aliens are thrown back, stunned by the electric fence |
"Brigadier,"
the Doctor took a sterner tone. "Where exactly are we?"
"Sorry,
Doctor," the Brigadier apologised, "I thought you would recognise it
from last time. DSTL, Doctor. Porton Down. Now come on, time is of the
essence!" And with that, the Brigadier turns away, and instructs two
soldiers manhandling a bazooka and its ammunition to find a more sensible
firing position. Jo, keen to follow the Brigadier, realises the Doctor isn't
moving, but is deep in thought, muttering to himself.
"The Defence
Science and Technology Laboratory," the Doctor muses, wondering whether the last time the Brigadier referred to is in his past or future. "What are they
up to, I wonder?"
"Come on,
Doctor," Jo panics, pulling at his sleeve. "We must follow the
Brigadier!"
"No, Jo, not
yet," the Doctor asserts. "First we need to know what's going on
here. Follow me!" And ignoring the Brigadier, who is waiting for them to
follow, the Doctor walks steadily towards the main door of the Laboratory. Jo,
flustered, reluctantly follows.
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| Meanwhile, close to the fence... |
Close to the fence,
one innocent onlooker stares as alien eyes and tentacles appear through the
mist. One such eye is larger, more malevolent, and faces the onlooker with its
compelling gaze.
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| ...YOU ARE IN MY POWER... |
The camera slowly zooms in on this larger
alien eye, which pulsates in brightness as the sound of static builds and the
weird, electronically enhanced voice of the alien commander speaks in his mind: YOU WILL OBEY. YOU WILL OBEY. YOU ARE ONE OF US
NOW… The onlooker's shoulders drop and like an automaton, he turns
slowly, his expression vacant and gaze unfocussed. YES, MASTER. I OBEY…
With a crash of
glass the Apetopus bursts out of its prison. As the scientists turn to flee, it
squeezes itself adeptly through a doorway to trap them against furniture in the
foyer of the building. Try as they might to make use of the many items to hand
in the laboratory, their futile resistance is all too brief and they scream as
they succumb to the creature's tentacled simian attack and are crushed.
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| The Apetopus attacks |
Quickly, the aliens
realise they must break the fence, and attack it with resolve. In moments, a
section of the sparking fence is broken down and the creatures advance through
the gap.
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| Aliens stream through the broken fence |
The possessed
laboratory worker, under the control of the alien commander, walks steadily
toward the rear of the laboratory. His view of the world, transferred
telepathically to the alien commander, and represented by the BBC special
effects department as a fish-eye lens accompanied by heavy breathing, shows him
searching amongst the piles of discarded chemical waste containers behind the
laboratory. He sniffs the air. YES, the
alien commander's electronic voice whispers, THE
CREATURE IS HERE, AND IT HEARS OUR CALL…
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| UNIT troops open fire on the invaders |
Soldiers advancing
towards the alien enemy open fire, killing at least one of them in a burst of
machine gun fire as a bystander, caught in the middle, frantically dodges
bullets and somehow escapes. The aliens respond, concentrating their fire on
the soldiers, who all fall, leaving their corporal facing the alien assault on
his own.
The dying screams of
the crushed scientists are heard by those outside the laboratory.
"Wait,
Doctor!" the Brigadier shouts. "Whatever it is, it's going to have to
come out through those doors!" The Doctor and Jo stop as the Brigadier
takes charge.
"You men!"
he shouts at the bazooka team, "Get ready. You'll only get one chance at a
clear shot so better make it a good one!"
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| The Brigadier organises everyone, despite facing the wrong direction |
Just as the
Brigadier predicted, the main laboratory doors burst open and the Apetopus
reveals itself. In one oily movement it squeezes through the opening and
expands, stretching its hairy, writhing tentacles and snarls dramatically in
the way that only special effects monsters can. The camera focuses in on the
Apetopus as all around stand watching in awe. Too late, the bazooka team
respond, but are unable to load the weapon before the Apetopus slides swiftly
away, attempting to slip behind the cover of the building.
While this is
happening, the main group of aliens gather behind the laboratory, and the alien
ship starts to lift off, preparing to move to a position where it can be more
easily boarded by them and the escaping Apetopus. The corporal, seeing no other
option, jumps into one of the Land Rovers to pursue them.
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| The Corporal goes it alone in the Land Rover |
Meanwhile, the
bazooka team runs forward to take position for a clear shot at the escaping
Apetopus, but before they are able to fire, the Apetopus turns and opens its
maw toward them. Its ear-piercing shriek hits them as a sonic shock wave, and
they and their weapon are instantly disintegrated. The Apetopus smugly slips
behind the laboratory to comparative safety.
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| Our heroes follow in the Jeep |
"Follow
me!" the Doctor orders, seeing the Corporal starting up the lead Land
Rover. He jumps into the driver's seat of the Jeep behind as Jo and the
Brigadier hurriedly bundle into the back. Pistol at the ready, the Brigadier
gets prepared as the Doctor accelerates the Jeep away with a jolt.
Ahead of
them, the Corporal rounds the end of the building. Seeing a group of aliens
ahead, he smashes the front window of the Land Rover with his submachine-gun
and, weapon in one hand and steering wheel in the other, opens fire. One alien
falls, and as he sees the others move to raise their weapons in his direction,
he jars the vehicle into reverse and backs off rapidly into cover behind the
building.
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| Aliens board their ship in an attempt to escape earth, while the Apetopus tries to keep up |
The alien ship
lands, ramp lowered, as the alien troops scuttle aboard. The Apetopus, slower,
shambles toward the landed craft. Watching through the broken windscreen of the
Land Rover, the Corporal sees his moment. Slamming his right foot to the floor,
he accelerates the Land Rover towards the landing gear of the alien craft,
colliding with it dramatically.
There is a very big
explosion.
The fragile alien
ship totters, falls, and smashes against the ground, destroyed, as a box of
nerve gas canisters in the Land Rover explode unnecessarily. Wounded, stunned,
and weakened, the Corporal sees the alien commander rise, the only survivor of
the blast.
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| BOOM! |
Through smoke from
burning spaceship, cloud of nerve gas, and broken windscreen, The Corporal has
only a moment to appreciate his success. Then his eyes meet the alien's
unflinching gaze and his shoulders relax. YES,
MASTER, I OBEY…
Through the windows
of the Jeep, rushing towards the conflagration, our heroes take in this scene
of carnage. The alien ship lies on its side, in a pile of debris, destroyed.
The Land Rover, battered but not yet broken, beside. The passenger door opens and
one man - the bystander under the control of the alien leader - enters, and the
alien commander jumps into the back. The Apetopus, nearby, may have been about
to somehow squeeze into the Land Rover too, but as the Jeep approaches, it
advances to face it and opens its maw to shriek.
The camera closes in
on the faces of those in the Jeep. All are in pain, screaming, (even the
Brigadier), with their hands over their ears. The only sound is the piercing
shriek of the Apetopus, which builds as the camera moves closer,until Jo's
screaming face is all that can be seen, and the noise abruptly resolves into
the Dr Who theme music and the end credits roll.
THE CASTS
UNIT
The Doctor
(Unearthly Traveller, Star, 9)
Jo Grant (Plucky
Assistant, Co-Star, 5)
Brigadier
Lethbridge-Stewart (Dependable Deputy, Co-Star, 6)
2 x Scientists
(Scientist, Extra, 2 each = 4)
1 x UNIT NCO (Army
Corporal, Extra, 3)
4 x UNIT Privates
(Army Private, Extra, 2 each = 8)
1 x UNIT Heavy
Weapons Team (bazooka) (Army Heavy Weapon, Extra, 7)
2 x Land Rover/Jeep
(Vehicle, 4 each = 8)
1 x Cameraman
(Extra, 1)
TOTAL 51 points
Aliens from Planet X
Alien Commander
(Otherworldly Invader, Star, 10)
2 x Alien War
Leaders (Extras, 3 each = 6)
10 x Small Aliens
(Extras, 2 each = 20)
The Apetopus
(Marauding Monster, Co-Star, 5)
Alien Flying Saucer
(Helicopter, Vehicle, 10)
TOTAL 51 points
